Even When It's Raining

photo from publicdomainpicture.net

We have a Congolese friend here, whom I will refer to as “Ben” so as to protect his privacy. Ben just moved his family to a new home, and for Ben and his family, this move was very significant. 

Housing for a majority of the people here consists of only a couple of small rooms, and the apartment is part of a duplex or four-plex. All of the families in the building share an outhouse for their bathroom needs. There is a water tap in the community where people go to collect their daily water. Often there is only a curtain where the door ought to be and if there is a window, it may or may not have a glass pane or a set of curtains. There is no indoor plumbing. There is seldom electricity.  Many families here are large, and they all sleep on mats on the floors.  Ben and his wife have six children.

Here are some examples of housing in DRC.  

This move was a big deal to Ben's family because for the first time in their lives, they are able to rent a little house with a tiny yard, a tiny kitchen, space for the children to sleep more comfortably, indoor plumbing and their own bathroom IN THE HOUSE. He was so excited when he told David that “now we can go to the bathroom even when it’s raining!” When it rains in Congo, it’s usually a real gully washer and going out in it can be dangerous with all the mud, poor visibility, and the semi-buried power lines. No one goes anywhere when it is raining. 

When David shared that with me, it stunned me. Here we are feeling inconvenienced when the water is off for a few hours, or when we have to stay home during civil unrest with our refrigerators full of food while the rest of the city doesn’t eat because without refrigeration in their homes they have to shop daily for provisions and it is too dangerous to venture out. How would I feel if our family didn’t even have our own bathroom? If something as simple as going to the restroom suddenly became a big deal?

That phrase has stuck with me for days now. I felt like God was asking me: "Do you love me? Do you trust me? Will you follow me? Will you praise me? Even when it's raining?" 

Sometimes, the combined distractions and needs, whether good or bad, trivial or important, internal or external, are like a rain storm. I know the path before me is slippery and dangerous, and that I should cling to God and praise Him, but my visibility is reduced in the storm and I can’t see Him. Do my love for God and my trust in Him motivate me to praise Him anyway?

We’ve recently had days of civil unrest here and people have been hurt and killed. People have suffered. People are angry, hurt and confused. The Congolese are going through a real and potentially ferocious storm right now. I pray that believers here can be a light, making God visible and showing others the way to Him, and loving as Christ loves. Even when it’s raining.

Cool Beans - Five Years in DR Congo!

Kinshasa is a large city with some serious traffic!

In the evening on October 11, 2010, we arrived in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo to begin our assignment here. Five years ago! A lot has happened in just five years, both in Congo and in our family.

When we joined MAF, in July of 2008, our family looked like this. We spent two years raising ministry support and attending language school and other training.

We arrived in Congo looking like this.   After our Canadian winter our Florida tans were long gone. And of course the kids were bigger.

We have experienced one election season in this country and face another in the near future. We've learned to be flexible about things like electricity, water (none today), sanitation, and sleep. We have felt the joy of making new friends and the pain of saying goodbye when they left. We've seen our two oldest graduate and return to the states to further their educations, and felt the pride of their accomplishments mingled with the sorrow of not being able to be there for them to help them along. We've had the pride and happiness of seeing our son get married and getting a new daughter. We have lived the guilt and grief of loved ones dying while we were separated from them by thousands of miles, including my mom, my grandmother, my uncle, my mom's cousin, a great uncle, one of David's cousins, and a dear friend. 

We've also seen God perform miracles and met people whose lives have been transformed by Him. We've had opportunities to be involved in God's work here and meet incredible people He has placed here for such a time as this. We've prayed and worshipped with people from all over the world and been places we never imagined we would see. We've heard the gospel preached in a minimum of four languages here and observed that in each language, amen is still amen! We've worked harder and prayed more than we ever had before. We've faced health issues, including a surgery for David and one also for me. We've had our faith challenged, we've been brought low, and God has lifted us up and strengthened us. 

We are so thankful that God brought us here! We look forward to continuing to serve here as long as God in his generosity and wisdom keeps us here! God has given us a ministry team of incredible, faithful friends that makes it possible for us to be here by praying for us and financially supporting our ministry with MAF.

Now, for a little fun to mark our celebration. The Mitendi Center has been growing food for itself for some time now. They have also acquired a couple new residents:

The female arrived first. She was purchased with the idea to breed her and use the additional pigs as a source of income for feeding and upkeep as well as for food.

Breeding animals is generally much easier to accomplish when you have one of each gender, so a month or so later the male was acquired. They have a bit of growing up to do before they are ready to breed, but the girls at the Mitendi Center are learning to prepare the right kind of food for them, to care for them, and to develop a mindset of investing in their own future.

Last time I looked in on the piggies, I captured this with my phone. I thought it might be fun to ask people to come up with captions for my photo. So, please do comment below! 

Rebooting the Blog

Where have I been you ask? Actually, no one asked, but just in case someone wondered, I'm still here. Several months ago I took a little break from blogging and fully intended it to be just a little break. We were tired and stressed and felt a need to simplify and reduce demands on our time in order to "huddle in" as a family. Then my mom died and for some time after that the blog was the furthest thing from my mind. Losing mom turned my world upside down and it will probably always remain at least slightly off-kilter. It is just a fact that life without her will never be the same.

Through the last several months and all the different stress factors we were experiencing, I progressed from feeling like God was silent and distant, to confusion and devastation, to comfort and hope. God showed in both big, obvious ways and small, quiet ways that His love for me is immense and unwavering, even when my faith is wobbly and frail. 

For as long as I have been a Christian, I have understood God in the context of the relationship between a father and child. That isn't incorrect, but it isn't the whole picture either. God also nurtures and cares for his children in the same way a mother does. I don't know why that would surprise me, since God created mothers and the role of motherhood. But it did change my thinking. In my day to day life here I encounter many who are orphaned or abandoned. It brings to mind, and to my prayers, that God is a father to the fatherless. There are certain things though that fathers seem to do better and certain things that mothers seem to do better. God can do them all. He IS a father to the fatherless, but he also meets the needs that only a mother can fulfill. 

For this is what the Lord says:

“I will extend peace to her like a river,

    and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream;

you will nurse and be carried on her arm

    and dandled on her knees.

As a mother comforts her child,

    so will I comfort you;

    and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.”

When you see this, your heart will rejoice

    and you will flourish like grass;

the hand of the Lord will be made known to his servants,

    but his fury will be shown to his foes.

Isaiah 66:12-14

I am still active in the Mitendi ministry. In some ways, sharing my grief with the women here, even though it was awkward for me, has deepened my relationships with them. They have all experienced loss. They can't relate to my culture or my background but they can relate to my loss. 

We are in the middle of packing and preparing to move, so maybe this isn't the best time to recommence with blogging, but this is when I finally felt prompted to begin again, so bear with me. We'll only be moving a few kilometers, but we will be in a much less stressful situation, which will give us a little breathing room and more energy for focusing on ministry, so we are excited about this.

What's Going on in Kinshasa?

Most common view on computers and phones in Kin this week

Explaining fully all that has been going in here in Kinshasa over the last week, while people in the U.S. were focused on the State of the Union address and the alleged NFL cheaters, would require more time and history than one blog allows, but here is the "short" story. President Kabila is serving his second term as president of DRC. The next election is scheduled for 2016 and the constitution specifies that a president is limited to two terms. There have been speculation and accusations for some time that supporters of President Kabila would attempt to change the constitution in order to allow him to continue on as president. 

A week ago, the National Assembly (comparable to our House of Representatives) passed a bill requiring a census to be completed, and the wording of the bill tied the completion of the census to the presidential election. DRC is huge, mostly rural, and lacking infrastructure. A census could take up to three years to complete and would thus delay the elections. News of this became a catalyst in an already tense environment. With the Senate still facing a vote on the bill, Monday began with news of demonstrations, looting, and unfortunately, injuries and deaths.

Depending on the source, the number of people hurt or killed varies a great deal but there is no dispute that people have died. The government blocked text messaging and internet. A week later, we still cannot send text messages and while internet has been restored to businesses and banks, no one who uses a sim card for their internet data has access yet. MAF has satellite internet, and an unexpected ministry opportunity came up in the way of helping other missionaries get internet communication so they could continue to function and communicate with their staff during the communications blackout.

The Senate vote was delayed more than once but finally on Friday they passed the bill, AFTER modifying it so it now stipulates that the census needs to be taken but is separate from, and cannot interfere with, the election schedule. Since the Senate made changes to the version that was passed by the National Assembly, a commission has to reconcile the two versions and Parliament will have to vote again, presumably by Monday because Monday is the close of the current Parliamentary session. Even so, the changes that the Senate made to the bill have appeased the opposition and things have calmed down for now.

For those who know us and are concerned, let me try to reassure you that we are safe. The protests have largely been concentrated in just a couple of locations, neither of which are near our home or the hangar where David works. Our planes are still flying. Our neighborhood has been calm. After staying home all week just as a precaution, we finally ventured out on Friday to see friends and get groceries. Well, we tried to get groceries. Seems everyone had the same idea to take advantage of the lull and stock up. We expats love things that remind us of home, so while there were plenty of cans of weird veggies, this photo shows what the potato chip aisle looked like. The bread aisle and meat section looked the same.

For most people living here, this week has been much more than a disconcerting moment, an hour of indecision, or a few days of inconvenience. Many did not venture out for fear of being shot or arrested and these folks do not have refrigerators full of food and barrels of water. Hunkering down for a few days is a costly decision. They earn their wages and buy their food literally day to day. Many could not go to work because taxis did not run. Many this week are mourning and planning funerals. Many, including a friend of ours, have witnessed shocking brutality and violence and felt powerless to help.

Please pray for the people of Congo and for the upcoming Parliament vote. Pray that we and other missionaries here can be a light in this dark and hurting place and point the way to the Prince of Peace. 

More information:

Deadly Crackdown on Protests
Congo Senate Bows to Protests
DRC Halts Internet Access and Phone Services

The Problem Behind The Wall

Stone Wall (Photo credit: sobriquet.net)

When we moved into this house in October 2012, a lot of work had gone into preparing it but it was still in need of a lot of TLC. David is still making repairs. His progress is sometimes slowed by other circumstances, including the fact that now we have lived here long enough for some of the original repairs to need their own repairs!

One toilet, from day one, had issues. Previous occupants had installed it improperly. It is an unbelievably loud toilet when the tank is filling. The tank is not level. One side is a full inch higher than the other, so parts don't align properly and they break quickly. Like within days. So we quit buying parts and the only way to flush it was to remove the lid to the tank and stick your hand in the water and pull up the thingymabobber yourself.

We have more than one toilet so my way of dealing with it was to avoid using it.

This past weekend, David decided to try a different approach. Instead of the typical "push button" on toilets here, he fixed a wire to come up through the hole where the button would normally be and made a temporary handle so that now you can just pull the wire up and it lifts the thingymabobber and does the flushing. Yaay!

The hot water connection beneath the sink in the same bathroom had recently begun dripping, so while he was in there he decided to tighten that connection. Almost as soon as he grasped it, the knob broke off in his hand and water started spewing everywhere. You can't just shut off the water to one room in this house like we can in the states, so it was a big deal to have to shut off the water pending a repair. Our Saturday agenda had just been rewritten.

When David attempted to removed the broken piece of plumbing, the next section had rusted through and ALSO broke off. That made our big deal even bigger. Here, the walls are concrete, not drywall, and they concrete right over the plumbing. David spent hours with a hammer and chisel trying to get through the wall all the way back to the broken pipe without breaking more than one ceramic tile or hitting the sink with the hammer. The power was out during all this so I was sitting in there holding a flashlight for him. Neither of us would say it out loud but we were both really hoping that the next section of pipe would not also be rusted through and would stay intact.

The next challenge was finding the right parts, but a local hole in the wall "hardware store" actually had enough of what we needed to at least get the wall closed back up and be able to turn on the water again. I won't have a usable sink in there until we find a couple more parts but at least I have water to the rest of the house and my bathroom got a good mopping!

Very often in Congo, what appears to be a small repair turns out to be a big one.

I think sometimes people are like that too. We never know when someone does or says something to us that has a hint of anger, criticism, or malice what is lying on the other side of their wall and what might be going on with their inmost parts. Maybe they have a burden or a hurt that is way bigger than we can know. Maybe deep inside they have broken places that need God's love and healing.

Exciting Times and Heartache

We are busy, busy, busy packing, shopping for things we need, and tying up loose ends. It seems for every thing I scratch off my list, two new items appear. Finishing the first furlough and returning for the second term is a big deal to us, almost as big as actually finally getting to go to Kinshasa the first time around. So, I revisited the first post I wrote when we arrived, Kinshasa Journal. 

It covers our entire first week in Congo and is pretty long, so you may or may not be interested in reading the whole thing. It was fun for me to read my first impressions in light of what I know about Congo and life there three years later. Honestly it made me shake my head at myself and laugh at myself a little. This time around, I think we have more realistic expectations. Everyone there was a stranger the first time around, but this time we have reunions with friends to look forward to! 
 
Tomorrow we take Emily back to school so that will be a long (6 hours one-way) day and a sad one. Then when we fly out on Wednesday, we will be down to a family of three. Being 7,000 miles from my kids is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I won't sugar-coat it, it stinks.

Pray for our travels, for all of our luggage to make it intact, for Josh and Emily as they stay behind and for us as we re-adjust to life in Africa. 

Connected Hearts

Nairobi 2010-2011 (Photo credit: Dan Kori)

The terrorist attack at Westgate Mall in Nairobi is prominent in my thoughts. We have been there. We know people who shop there. I am filled with gratitude that none of our friends was harmed, but also with sorrow for the families and friends of those who were murdered. 

When we came back to the states for furlough, we noticed that while we are now different because of our experiences in Africa, our American culture also seems different. Perhaps it hasn't changed as much as we initially thought. Perhaps our absence enabled us to have a slightly more objective view. Sort of a reverse desensitization. 

Grief (Photo credit: tombellart)

I am disturbed now when I read verses like James 3:5 - "You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter." It makes me ponder my behavior and the Church in America. Compared to almost all of the rest of the world, we do indeed live in luxury. It's the self-indulgence part that really convicts me. And the part about fattening ourselves in the day of slaughter instead of being diligent in spiritual disciplines and redeeming the time. Are we even able to "rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn," especially if those are in a distant land? (Rom. 12:15) 

Lord, "turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things." (Ps 119:36-37a) Comfort the mourners in Kenya, and strengthen them. Drive away the spirit of fear and replace it with your love. Give us hearts that identify with the hearts of others, so that we rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. 

Once again

IMG_5805 (Photo credit: strudelt)

Once again my heart is broken. Another one dear to me has gone home ahead of me. She is the sixth in the 28 months we have been here. 
Once again I feel the loss in many different ways. The words of encouragement that will no longer arrive in the mail or in my email box. The smiles and hugs that won’t be there anymore. The lessons and experiences that will no longer be shared. The absence.

Once again I am helpless when I want nothing more than to help someone I love. I have no magic solutions. I haven’t got the words and wisdom needed. I haven’t got a clue. I can’t give them what they need. I haven’t even the ability to be with them in person and just walk through this beside them.

Mary Magdalene, in a dramatic 19th-century popular image of penitence painted by Ary Scheffer. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Once again I cling to You. Yours was the first broken heart, on that day when Eve lost her trust in you and made her fateful choice.  You understand loss and grief and brokenness.  You understand longing. You are wise and strong. 

Once again I ask You, take my mourning and as You change it slowly into gladness, change me too. Guide me in your Truth and teach me. Help me help them. Be the strength in my weakness and speak through me. When they are too weak, weary and broken to walk, gather my loved ones in your arms and carry them close to your heart, dear Shepherd.

Once again, Father, give me the grace and strength I need for this day. Give me eyes to see beyond myself.

Young Shepherd (Photo credit: edbrambley)

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his hearth; He gently leads those that have young." Is 40:11

Hurting for Newtown

Remembering (Photo credit: Puzzler4879 (Thank You for 500K Views))

I just don't even have words adequate or appropriate for what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut yesterday. This did not happen in a country at war, such as Congo, at least not on the surface. I have no doubt there is a spiritual war. Our country needs Jesus, just as DRC does.

When I saw the news last night, I cried. For those moms and dads, those kids, that community, the father of the shooter who lost a son under such awful circumstances, and my nation. I went to David and told him what happened and the news was so horrible and stunning that he asked me if I was sure it really happened and wasn't some sort of sick social media rumor. I'm still crying. I don't know how anyone can not be heartbroken and grieving over this.

Today I am still alternating between shocked and crying. I can't even imagine how much worse it must be for those immediately affected, those who lost loved ones or suffered injuries.

And yet, I am thankful that my heart is broken. The alternative is far worse. I would rather mourn with those who mourn, as painful as it is, than be desensitized or unable to feel compassion, love, or mercy.

I am thankful and encouraged to see so many responding so quickly to offer whatever they can to comfort and help. It gives me hope.

I am thankful for teachers who acted quickly to protect children.

I am thankful that as a Christian I can go boldy in prayer to my Father in behalf of others, knowing that He loves them and that this did not catch Him by surprise.

Praying for comfort and healing, and for hearts to turn to God who loves them and wants them to know it. Father, please pour your mercy and grace on the families in Newtown and help them in their time of need.

"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16

The Media May Ignore Congo but Christians Cannot

Christians praying in Goma, DR of Congo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

After I posted "Days of Evil" I received several emails from friends who read my blog, each stating that they had seen little to nothing about what is going on in Goma and the rest of east Democratic Republic of Congo. They were surprised, and said that my little blog with its links to news articles was their best source of information about current events here. That, my friends, disappoints and saddens me. How can people pray and help if they don't even know about the need? Those of us who know are responsible for getting the word out to those of us who do not know.

Concurrent with the emails I received, a friend gave me a link to an article, Why The World Is Ignoring Congo War. The author, Vava Tampa, is a native of Congo. Here is one disturbing item I read in his article:

"The wars in that country have claimed nearly the same number of lives as having a 9/11 every single day for 360 days, the genocide that struck Rwanda in 1994, the ethnic cleansing that overwhelmed Bosnia in the mid-1990s, the genocide that took place in Darfur, the number of people killed in the great tsunami that struck Asia in 2004, and the number of people who died in Hiroshima and Nagasaki -- all combined and then doubled. Yet we rarely hear anything about it."

The media will always have their own agenda and for them, newsworthiness is about profitability and politics. I hope you read Vava Tampa's article (click here). I hope you look at the photos. I hope it angers you and makes your heart ache, as it did to me, and then I hope you cry out to God in behalf of Congo.

Tragedy in Brazzaville

Congo river (Photo credit: Karin.Lakeman)

Yesterday morning we heard a series of loud explosions.  Windows opened and slammed shut, the house shook, our ears popped, chairs moved.  Everyone here does not own a television or a radio, and news coverage is not live and instant, so people were guessing and rumors were flying as to the cause.  We were told more than one story.  There was an invasion from Brazzaville, the capitol city of the Republic of the Congo across the river.  We were told a munitions dump had exploded.  A military depot full of explosives was on fire.  There was a coup.  Etc.

Image via Wikipedia

As it turned out, an arms depot in Brazzaville really had caught fire and caused the explosions.  Our church lost a window.  Friends of ours now have a cracked ceiling.  I have not heard of any injuries or deaths here in Kinshasa, but my heart is hurting for Brazzaville right now.  Some estimate over 200 deaths so far and collapsed buildings may contain more dead.  Hundreds have been injured.  Churches collapsed on entire congregations.  One report I read that broke my mommy heart said that the government had to take custody of numerous children found wandering the streets, separated from their parents and unable to locate them.  We have missionary friends across the river.  They are in the northeast region of the country, far from where the blasts occurred, but I am certain their hearts are breaking for the country they serve and love.  Please pray for the Congo Republic and the people of Brazzaville.  Pray for the Christians who are there, that God will use them to bring hope and healing.

Related articles

• Congo's Brazzaville hit by blasts (bbc.co.uk)
• About 200 killed in explosions in the Republic of Congo (theglobeandmail.com)

A Sad Goodbye and a Lesson in Congolese Culture

My grandmother with my grandfather, Josh and Emily (top rt) and Daniel

Here is sort of a wrap up of the last several days.

Daniel got his stitches out!  We are grateful he had no infection or complications.  Being a ten year old boy, he's not the least bit upset about having a new scar - he thinks it's cool.  He is however, disappointed that he gets to take baths again.

Emily made 1st semester honor roll!  This was for her first semester outside of a home school environment, so we are very proud of her for doing well in her studies while she was also dealing with the adjustment to a new school, friends being gone on furlough, her brother leaving home, and starting the school year with her mom out of country having surgery.  She's a real trooper!

Josh is playing his guitar now in worship time at the Baptist Student Union on campus, sharing his faith with others, playing rugby, and hopefully studying.

David has been trying to accomplish the impossible task of having no toilets or faucets leaking anywhere in the house for a whole day.  The plumbing supplies here are of very inferior quality and break almost as quickly as they are installed.

I am working on our next newsletter.  Well, ok, I'm thinking about working on our next newsletter.

MAF featured one of my articles on their BLOG.

Recently, I wrote about having friends whose father was near death and my grandmother being in hospice.  Both of them passed away just days ago.  I am heartbroken over the loss of my grandmother and the fact that I cannot be there with my relatives right now.  She was a very special lady, strong, faithful, and compassionate.  We'll all miss her terribly.  I do find it comforting to know she is now in heaven with her Savior and we will have a reunion one day.

We attended our first funeral here in Congo on Sunday.  I can well imagine what my grandmother's funeral might be like, at least in general.  Most funerals in America have certain similarities because of our common culture, plus I know my family.  It is the same here, except that the culture is vastly different.  Here are just some of the differences that I noticed:

* The funeral was outdoors in a concrete gymnasium in 90 degree weather.
* Instead of padded church pews we sat under awnings on plastic lawn chairs.
* There was another funeral in progress on one side of us, and a church service on another side, both of which had live bands and PA systems competing with our service.
* Men in rolled up jeans, flip flops, and ragged t-shirts were walking around selling soft drinks and water, which they carried on their heads in bags of ice.
* There was a rooster crowing every few minutes.
* There were at least four languages spoken: English, French, Kikongo and Lingala.
* The family was expected to feed everyone.  In Congo no one brings food to the family or offers assistance.  They do bring money.
* The services lasted several hours.  We were there for four and missed the burial service.
* There was a man wearing a sandwich board walking around selling Polaroid-style photos of the service, during, not after, the service.
* None of the flowers were real and all of them were wrapped in plastic.  Instead of being displayed in advance of people's arrivals, they were presented to the deceased in a processional by the donors near the end of the service.  It is the family's responsibility to ensure that there will be some flowers at the funeral, but anyone can give flowers.  They are gifts to the deceased, not the family, and they are buried with the deceased, but first they are torn off their frames to prevent them from being dug up and sold by thieves. (A note: Grave robbing is so common here that often the casket is smashed to make it unsellable and less likely to be stolen.  Grave markers are also intentionally damaged to ensure that they aren't stolen, painted over and resold.)

I'm sure there are other differences I didn't notice because there was a lot to take in.  It was indeed very different from my own culture.

Gifts From God for Right Now

Image via Wikipedia

This is a crazy week.  It's a good week for realizing how valuable relationships are.  I have dear friends here whose 92 year old father is probably not going to live much longer.  His loss will be felt deeply by the Congolese community as well as the missions community.  Yet in the midst of all this they are continuing to focus on and serve others.  This week my own grandmother, also 92, was admitted to hospice.  Every day I deal with the conflicting emotions of being anxious to check my email and hear from my family in the U.S. and dreading what I may find when I do.  My daughter learned yesterday that two of her dearest friends are leaving very soon, and she is heartbroken over it.  All of us experience losses and grief.    Sometimes I instinctively want to hide in my bed and refuse to deal with anyone or anything, even my friends and family.  When we lose someone who is a vital part of our life, nothing is ever the same again, but the ones we still have with us are gifts from God for right now.  Right now He is with me.  Right now my family needs me.  Right now I am preparing to have NEW friends come for dinner and fellowship before their long journey home.  Right now there are people who are important to me whom I can serve, pray for, and love.  And equally important is the fact that they want to do the same for me.   It's OK to take some time alone, I think.  But if I withdraw from those who care about me, including my Savior, when I am hurt, I am shunning the very thing I need most.

Jesus Under the Stove (and other unusual places)

Photo: Nancy Burton coolbeans3.blogspot.com

I was able to go to the United States for Thanksgiving to visit our college aged daughter and see most of my family. We had a nice visit but OH! The trip back was so LONG and exhausting. It took me a while to get back in the groove after the time change and with all the emotions of missing my mom. Holidays won't ever be the same without her, although I do have hope that they can be good. David, Daniel and I are having a quiet family Christmas this year. Missing mom has made us more sentimental, resulting in us doing things we don't normally do here because old traditions are either very expensive or near impossible to keep here. We splurged on a new little tree. Our ancient missionary hand me down tree bit the dust last year. I brought back pumpkin from the states so there will be pumpkin pie. We bit the dust and paid the outrageous amount for a real turkey instead of the usual chicken. I used up my chocolate chip horde and baked cookies to give away. All totally worth it.

When I first wrote this blog post on Dec 18, 2011, my mom told me she really liked it, which made it a favorite of mine. I've blown the dust and cobwebs off and revised it a bit for you:

I don’t understand why, because it is often always the messiest room in the house, but our kitchen is a people magnet. Often when I am cooking, other members of the family will come in and talk to me. So we were all in the kitchen together last night when we noticed David on his hands and knees looking beneath the stove. Conversations and activities ceased as we all stared until he noticed and responded.
“I’m looking for Jesus.”
“I’m pretty sure you won’t find Him under the stove.” This was followed by much laughter.
Minutes later:
“I found Jesus under the printer.”
“Didn’t I tell you He wasn’t under the stove?” More laughter.
“He was just as likely to be under the stove as under the printer.”
“I guess you have a point there.” 

My husband was searching for Jesus in bizarre places because our cats held a soccer game while we slept during the night and scattered the pieces of Emily’s nativity scene all over the house. The other pieces were found quickly but we couldn’t find Jesus, the most important figure. Once He was found, everyone was happy. Like our cats, we humans tend to make a real mess of things. We sometimes lose sight of what the most important things are in our lives. Our nativity Jesus was never truly gone, we just couldn’t see Him because He had been moved from his place of prominence to a dark and dusty corner. I don’t want to relegate Jesus to a dark and dusty corner of my life. I want Him to be the absolute center, the focal point no matter what angle anyone sees me from so that they are shown the way to Him. And I am so, so grateful that even when I fall and lose sight of Him, He is still there.

I hope this Christmas and always that He is in a place of prominence in your heart and life.

Merry Christmas!

image created using "One Night in Bethlehem" kit by Janniscrap Designs

I'm the only turkey here!

Thanksgiving is the beginning of the most homesick time of year for me. I miss my family and friends year-round, but this time of year I also miss traditions: turkey (I'm the only turkey here.); watching the Macy’s parade in our pajamas; alternating between cooking, eating, and football. When I was a kid, we went to Mississippi nearly every year and spent Thanksgiving with my grandparents. All the aunts, uncles and cousins would come. I still remember my grandmother’s kitchen, the smells of pine trees and food cooking, sounds of kids playing and adults talking, Aunt Mamie’s pound cake, and the little table where all the kids ate in the kitchen while the adults ate in the dining room. We looked forward to “going to Nannan’s” all year long and had wonderful times. This Thanksgiving, this side of my family is grieving. Last week my grandmother’s last living sibling passed away. She is in the hospital, and I received news on Monday that my uncle had died. I desperately wish I could be with my family in the U.S. right now. Tuesday one of my dearest friends here left Kinshasa permanently. Three weeks ago another dear friend left when her assignment here was completed. Lately, it seems like almost every day there is a new loss. Add to this the stress of having no electricity since November 16, a child in college 6,000 miles away, and the elections here. I have a heavy heart right now, but I also have many things to be thankful to my Savior for. My husband is my best friend and loves me so much it astounds me that God gave him to me. I have amazing friends here who love me and show it. There are many people all over the world who love us and pray for us. My family draws closer in times like this instead of withdrawing from one another. There may not be turkey on the table, but there is food in the pantry. I can’t watch the parade or the football game, but I can wear my pajamas if I want to and play games with the kids. My college student has a ticket to come home for Christmas. God’s Word is full of verses that assure me He loves me, that He heals and comforts broken hearts, and his grace is sufficient. I know this is a holiday time, so as we celebrate and give thanks together in heart if not in person, I’m being real in hope for two things. I hope that you’ll pray for my family (on both continents). I hope the knowledge that even when hurting, God has enabled me to see his grace in my life and celebrate his goodness and mercy might encourage someone. And I promise a cheerier post soon!

***I just learned that one of our MAF team members DID find turkey and she is bringing it to our team potluck on Thanksgiving Day! Yaay! One more blessing to be grateful for. If we had found them, we'd have bought one, we wouldn't have been able to cook it. So! I am not the only turkey in Kinshasa, at least not til after Thanksgiving.