Once again

IMG_5805 (Photo credit: strudelt)

Once again my heart is broken. Another one dear to me has gone home ahead of me. She is the sixth in the 28 months we have been here. 
Once again I feel the loss in many different ways. The words of encouragement that will no longer arrive in the mail or in my email box. The smiles and hugs that won’t be there anymore. The lessons and experiences that will no longer be shared. The absence.

Once again I am helpless when I want nothing more than to help someone I love. I have no magic solutions. I haven’t got the words and wisdom needed. I haven’t got a clue. I can’t give them what they need. I haven’t even the ability to be with them in person and just walk through this beside them.

Mary Magdalene, in a dramatic 19th-century popular image of penitence painted by Ary Scheffer. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Once again I cling to You. Yours was the first broken heart, on that day when Eve lost her trust in you and made her fateful choice.  You understand loss and grief and brokenness.  You understand longing. You are wise and strong. 

Once again I ask You, take my mourning and as You change it slowly into gladness, change me too. Guide me in your Truth and teach me. Help me help them. Be the strength in my weakness and speak through me. When they are too weak, weary and broken to walk, gather my loved ones in your arms and carry them close to your heart, dear Shepherd.

Once again, Father, give me the grace and strength I need for this day. Give me eyes to see beyond myself.

Young Shepherd (Photo credit: edbrambley)

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his hearth; He gently leads those that have young." Is 40:11