"You Have Memories"

Ever used Facebook's "On This Day?" At the click of a "You Have Memories" button, you can see everything you ever did on Facebook on that particular day of every year since you joined the web site. It's genius on the part of Facebook. What better way to feed our tendency toward self-absorption and keep us posting and reposting so as to ensure the popularity of their site and attract sponsors and advertisers? And Facebook makes it easy by telling you that "You Have Memories" every day, so you don't forget to look at them. 

It can also be an eye opener. I have looked at mine a number of times and had varying responses ranging from face palms to groans to pleasant trips down memory lane to timely reminders of lessons learned. Sometimes I look at things I posted waaaaay back when Facebook was relatively new and I can't believe I thought anyone would EVER be interested in that. Ever. 

"writing letters today"

"doing homework"

One nice thing about On This Day is that I can delete that garbage. No one wanted to read it once, let alone a second time. I did not join facebook to punish my friends.

Other times I look at posts and see things I wish I didn't: negativity, criticism, anger. I try to evaluate whether I am still the same person who wrote that post and do I still have the same attitude. If not, I thank God. If so, I ask Him to keep working on me and change my heart. 

Sometimes I see posts from people who encouraged me just when I needed it and I am reminded how loved I am and that maybe I should take a moment to let them know I love them too. Or I see posts that remind me of something significant that happened and how God showed Himself in it. That happened today when I saw that "On This Day" four years ago, Emily used my facebook to post a prayer request. I posted our family's little adventure here: Daniel's Bottle Bucket Battle a few days later. It's a story about a night that could have been much, much worse than it was, but turned in to a testimony of God's care for a little boy and his family, and His power to orchestrate even Kinshasa traffic to His will. 

Facebook makes it easy and tempting to live in the past rather than embracing the present and anticipating the future. But it can also remind us that the God who was with us in all those past events is the same God who is with us now and will be with us as we face the future!

A Small Reflection to Mark the Day

Arrived in Congo five years ago today. After our crazy experience in the airport, we rode in a van with Garth Pederson and Brian Writebol to our new home. It was dark and there were little fires everywhere lining both sides of the road because there was no power. The fires gave light, drove away mosquitos, and cast an eery glow on the myriad of half-finished or half-destroyed buildings, roadside kiosks, piles of garbage and people. Combined with our fatigue from 36 hours of travel it all seemed very apocalyptic and we wondered what we had gotten ourselves into and how in the world one family could make even a drop of difference in a place like this. We can't but God can, and He does. Thankful we get to be part of it!

Change of Plans

This year we've had more than the usual amount of stress and struggles, so we took a few days away to celebrate our 25th anniversary and decompress a little. The plan was to come back refreshed and ready to tackle moving to the new apartment. We had a generous window of time before the old house had to be vacated so we were going to pace ourselves and not make it into something that was harder than it needed to be, even for Congo. 

Sometimes, plans change.

We arrived home at about 1:30 in the morning and before we even entered the house we could smell that something had burnt. Our guard said the electric cable had burned. No surprise. We generally pay for burned cable to be replaced about once a week. So we went on inside and were greeted first by stronger, migraine-inducing smell and our normally white floor was black with soot.

We walked a bit further and found the cause. When the electric cable burned, it caused a big spike in the voltage. One of our voltage regulators couldn't handle it and caught fire, burning completely up. The fire traveled up the wall and into the breaker box, doing quite a bit of damage there.

The walls are concrete, but if the fire had gone just a few inches higher, our wood ceiling would have caught fire and it would have spread throughout the house. If we had been home and it had been worse, Daniel could have been trapped in his room because in Congo, all the windows and doors have bars on them. 

So. Change of plan. With no power, and no relief from the smell or the heat, we decided to begin moving immediately. Right now we are borrowing the home of some friends who are away and moving as much as we can each day by making multiple trips in our car. We also have to clean the soot off every single item in the house, books, photos, furniture, you-name-it, before we can pack it. And David has work at the hangar - so it is slow going. 

This is very inconvenient. But we are thankful that we get to describe our experience with that adjective instead of words like devastating or tragic. God protected our family and our property, and we are humbled and grateful.

Unknown Variables

source: www.openclipart.org

People here joke about "the Congo factor" or the "Congo variable (an ever changing factor or set of factors)." When you have a project to complete in the states, you determine what supplies you need, the amount it should cost, the amount of time it ought to take to complete, and then you get to work. Adding in the Congo variable, means that you probably won't be able to find all the supplies you need, you are likely to discover after you've begun your project that there is more work to be done than previously thought and more supplies are needed, the parts you purchased are of a quality that renders them likely to break during or shortly after installation, and the entire project from start to finish is likely to take MUCH longer than originally estimated. We've done a fair share of dealing with Congo variables this week.

Variable 1: cheapo parts. A lot of new plumbing has been installed in the last couple of weeks. We also spent the better part of our first two days in our new home fixing leaks in the new plumbing and mopping floors. High quality parts and fixtures are impossible to come by here. We still have some leaks to deal with but not as many.

Variable 2: humid climate. Some walls in the house were damaged by water due to leaky plumbing but the climate here is also hard on things. A good deal of the paint was bubbled up and falling off the walls so we have been scraping, spackling, and sanding.

Variable 3: Just because it fits, doesn't mean it belongs there. As I lay in bed our first night in the new house, I heard numerous loud noises like something popping or snapping. Most of the noise was coming from directly over our bed, which did NOT help me relax and fall asleep. The next day we discovered the source. The landlord had replaced several light bulbs and added covers to the fixtures. The bulbs fit the sockets and the covers fit over the bulbs, but obviously they weren't meant to go together. The plastic fixtures were melting from the heat of the light bulbs, and making loud noises as they cooled after we turned off the lights. This is the one above our bed, and the light bulb has burned its
 way through the plastic.

This one from the hall is my favorite! That thing you see hanging down is not a spider web but melted plastic about to fall. Light fixtures are coming down ASAP.

Variable 4: Just because it's new, doesn't guarantee it will work. We finally got our new water pump installed. It did not work. The inside parts were messed up, so even though it is nice looking on the outside, the pump can't fulfill its purpose, and actually caused a good deal of wasted time and frustration. I guess people are the same way. What others see on the outside may look really attractive and "together" but sometimes we are a mess on the inside. Instead of fulfilling our purpose to minister to and love people, we become a negative variable in the lives of others. "People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Sam 16:7b)

We had a friend help us yesterday with a temporary fix, allowing us to borrow a pump from him so that we could get water into the house. Last night I enjoyed my first hot shower in a week, and it was superb! This past Wednesday marked our two year "Congoversary." Someone remarked that we've been here two years and lived in two houses. I like this house, but it's going to take a long time and a lot of work to get it in good shape, so that is a trend I really don't have a desire to continue, thank you very much!

One last little note. A friend recently sent me this link to Jon Bloom's blog post "Don't Give Up."  If you are dealing with lots of variables lately, I think you'll find it as encouraging as I did.

Sappy Birthdayversary

Birthday Cake (Photo credit: Will Clayton)

Here is an update on our prayer needs. We still need a place to live. The electric company is still harassing people. They have not picked on us, yet. We have a new team member, Emmanuel, who is adjusting to life here and working in the hangar with David.

Today marks four years that we have been with MAF! I never forget our MAF anniversary because it falls on our oldest son's birthday. Last week our daughter had her first birthday ever without her big brother. Today is the first time Josh will have had a birthday away from us. Next month, our youngest will have his first birthday away from his brother. I knew when we joined MAF, on Josh's 15th birthday, that one day there would be thousands of miles between us and our children. I told myself that would be ok, that God would take care of them. Even if we were still in the states, they would still have to grow up and leave the nest, right?

Mail box (Photo credit: Mark Sardella)

But I didn't realize how hard it would be. I can't just run to the nearest store and buy a gift and a greeting card and pop them in the mail. There is no postal service. No shopping mall. Between the time zones and the slow connection, we can't usually get skype to work. And right now, he has no phone service so we can't call him even on our phones. It isn't just birthdays that bother me either. I couldn't send him goodies during his finals. I couldn't go to his rugby games. Someone else has to drive him to the doctor or the store. There is no one to bake him a birthday cake.

So the prevailing mood at our house has been rather melancholic. We all miss Josh even more than usual. While I was in my self-pity mode I wrote this "letter to my children." It's pretty sappy and not very good, but oh well. It's the thought that counts.


My Mother Heart

I have two hearts. One is my human heart. The other is my mother’s heart. And they are sometimes at odds with one another.

My human heart knows you were never mine. You were a loan, entrusted to me for a time to love, nurture and train. I always knew I would one day have to let you go.

My mother heart will always think of you as mine, and will always long to have you near me.

My human heart knows that you will make mistakes along the way and prays you will learn from them, becoming better and not bitter.

My mother heart wants to protect you from even your own mistakes.

My human heart knows that you are learning to take care of yourself and make your own decisions, and that this is how it should be.

My mother heart wants you to need me, just a little.

My human heart knows that God has you in the palm of his hand. He loves you more than I ever can and is faithful and trustworthy.

My mother heart sometimes fears for you anyway.

My human heart knows I don’t deserve you. You are incredible, precious, and amazing. You give me joy and laughter, and yes, some tears. I love watching you: as you interact with others, as you learn and play, as you grow in your faith. I am proud of you and will always love you.

My mother heart feels the same way.

I Did THIS for YOU!

Of all the frequently heard sounds in our home: laughter, talking, movies/games, kittens, etc; there is one sound I hate to hear.  I don’t know how to describe it, but if you’ve ever heard it you will know what I’m talking about – that nasty popping noise that occurs when an appliance or electrical outlet “blows up.”  Twice this week we’ve turned on a light switch and heard the “pop” while sparks rained down from the light fixture to the floor.  This morning I lost my kitchen outlet while brewing coffee.  So, in a week’s time we are down two lights and our outlet.  

Yesterday I had to deliver two of our kittens to TASOK so they could go home with their new owners.  We just got a new MAF family this week, the Linds, and I invited Lisa to come along and eat lunch on the campus.  On the way home the car broke down again.  Welcome to Congo, Lisa.  I was very grateful that we were within sight of the house when it happened, but a bit disappointed.  The breakdown meant two things for me. First, David and two friends of ours spent all that time working on it and the problem still isn’t repaired.  Second, I won’t be going to the orphanage for a while.  The car can’t make it that far.  To add to the day’s adventure, my daughter came home with one of the kittens.  The boy who was supposed to get the kitten couldn’t take it home because his father had neglected to tell their driver, who refused to allow it in the car.  

The school musical is finally finished.  Emily had both acting and singing parts in the musical and did a wonderful job.  Yes, I am biased, but she really did do wonderfully!  I imagine that David and I looked pretty goofy sitting in the audience with our big grins and beaming faces.   She is already focusing on her next extra-curricular activity: auditioning for the school talent show and assisting Mrs. Francis with the auditions for the elementary school students.  

Tomorrow our church is meeting at sunrise by the Congo River.  Sunrises make me feel hopeful and expectant.  It’s like opening a present on your birthday and finding inside a gift that someone lovingly made with you in mind.  Tomorrow I get to look out over the vast Congo River as the sun plays on the water, coloring the clouds, and think not just about this beautiful world God made, but also about the sacrifice Jesus made, and in my spirit hear Him saying “I did THIS for YOU!”  Have a wonderful Easter! 

Be Careful What You Wish For!

My mom used to tell me "Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it!" We often wish for things impulsively based on the circumstances and emotions of the moment at hand without thinking of the possible consequences of actually getting our wish. Ideally, as we grow out of our childhood, we also learn to be careful what we wish for and become less and less egocentric. However, I firmly believe that God loves us with an intensity we can't even imagine, enjoys giving us the desires of our hearts and blessing us, AND has a sense of humor. A few weeks ago, in my musings about our one year "Congoversary" here, I jokingly wished for medals, or at least hot fudge sundaes. Last week our team welcomed Doug and Ruth Harrison from MAF Member Care for a visit. Everyone got a chance to meet them and spend some time getting to know them, sharing about the challenges and blessings of living and ministering here, and just having fun. We had them over for supper on Thursday evening. Before they came, I received a message that they wanted to bring dessert. No problem there. Anyone can bring dessert to my house anytime they want to and I will never try to stop them. After our meal, Doug and Ruth pulled out medals AND ice cream with toppings, including a jar of hot fudge sauce they carried over from the U.S! To put that in perspective for our friends who have never been here, a half gallon of the cheapest ice cream is about $25, and I've never seen hot fudge sauce here. Add to that nuts, m&m's ($15 a bag) and whipped topping at about quadruple the normal U.S. prices, plus the hassle of locating everything since it's never all in the same store. Wow! We were so touched by their thoughtfulness and sacrifice! Doug and Ruth both spent their entire time here focused on all of our team, encouraging us and trying to really see things through our eyes. What a blessing! Next time you pray for us, thank God for sending the Harrisons our way for a little while. I just wish we could see them again....

Back in the U.S.A.

We're back! We crossed the border into the U.S. on June 30th, our 20th wedding anniversary, and arrived at my sister-in-law's home happy but tired. We left the kids with my in-laws and went to a nearby small town B&B to celebrate our anniversary. In case you think the kids got jilted, their aunt and uncle treated them to laser tag, a movie, shopping, and all the junk food any kid could want. It was good for all of us. We are now in Missouri, packing and working on ministry support. It feels kinda wierd going through the checkout line at the store with enough unscented solid deodorant, vitamins, and tylenol to last a family of five for two years. It does make people stare. It also felt a little wierd the first time we went into a store and everything we heard was in English.  That didn't even happen when we lived in Florida, let alone Québec.

Sometimes you need to stop and smell the roses, so on our way down from Canada, we stopped at Niagara Falls. I had been to see the falls years ago, on my senior trip, and wanted to share it with David and the kids.