Mother of the Groom

my lovely gift from Kristen's aunt Terry

Here are a few of my favorite photos from Josh's wedding. I know that no one is as interested in the wedding as I am and I have been ill so this post will be short and sweet. The first two photos are mine but the wedding photos are posted with permission and were taken by Andrea Cahill from Distinctive KC.

Rehearsal was fun not just because it was for Josh's wedding, and not just because we got to see Josh and Kristen again and meet Kristen's family, but also because we got to see our pastor, Brother Michael, again. 

Daniel escorting Kristen's sister, Amanda. It was a very emotional moment when I saw both of my boys in tuxedos at the same time. Josh is already taken, but look out world, here comes son number two!

Josh escorting me to my seat. Lots of mixed feelings here but pride and joy were way up there, along with a little bit of sadness and a big dose of "phew, we did it, we raised a boy!" 

I love this one because Josh and Kristen have a strong desire to keep God the center of their marriage and life together.

It was a very joyful day. We are so blessed and happy to add Kristen to our family. 

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Catching up. A few weeks ago we flew out of Congo. Our destination was Missouri for our son's wedding, but since we had to have a layover in Belgium anyway, and we had not had a vacation in a long time, we extended our layover to a couple of days so that we could see a bit of Belgium.

I was completely enchanted with Belgium. It was my first experience in any part of Europe. I like old things, and there are lots of old things there. I like chocolate. Belgium does chocolate very well. We saw chocolatiers everywhere and I would have liked to visit all of them. 

We only had two days, so the first day we took a train (my first train ride!) to Brussels Central and spent the day doing a walking tour of the older part of town. All of the streets here were narrow, winding, and cobble-stoned. The buildings were ancient and bold, yet charming. A strange mix of gargoyles and window boxes, towers and ivy. 

For day two we rented a car and drove to the city of Brugges. It was cold and rainy and we REALLY appreciated the lunch and hot drinks we bought in the little cafes. I loved touring the old buildings and churches. One church, St. Salvator's, dates to the 12th century and contains breathtaking art pieces. 

I also fell in love with the canals in Brugges. 

In spite of temps in the forties and almost constant rain, we had a wonderful time and would have stayed longer if we could have. 

Destination: Nkara, part 4

This is the fourth part of a series.  For the whole story, see PART 1, PART 2, and PART 3.  

Originally our plan for Monday was to spend the morning at "Ecole des Femmes," the school for women, and in the evening we would go with the Smiths to a village to do door to door evangelism. We had to change our plans because of Emily's school obligations, so our return flight was rescheduled for Monday. I was terribly disappointed at first, because I had been longing to learn more about the literacy center and the work that Nancy Smith is doing with the women since I first learned of it a year ago and I thought that we would not be able to go to the "school," but Nancy knew I wanted to go and she arranged for it to happen!  We would have to leave early and wouldn't get to visit for an entire school day, but we would get to go and meet the women and learn more about the ministry. I wish we could have gone on the evangelism trip, but I am very grateful that we still got to visit the school.  

After greeting the chief of the village we joined the ladies, who were already waiting for us. They began by singing a song of welcome to us. They invited Nancy and me to share a message with them. (More about that in my next post on the MAF blog!)

The school is about much more than teaching women how to read. It is not completely free. They pay a small amount by bringing manioc, which is then used to feed the students in the Bible school. In this way they are investing in their own lives as well as in the lives of others. They study the Bible and if they don't have one, they can buy one from the school with manioc. The instructor asked them review questions over what they've been studying so they could show me what they've learned. Even though most of them don't own their own Bibles and can't yet read and write proficiently, their knowledge of the Bible and their desire to learn more would put to shame many a Western Christian who has an education along with numerous Bibles and resources.

Alongside of Bible study they also learn about having a Christian home and marriage. This has had a profound effect on the families in the area. Women have told the Smiths that their marriage is happier and that their children no longer run and hide when their father comes home.  

They study basic math and how to count money so they are less likely to be cheated at the market.

They learn to cook new foods and proudly told me that they can make donut holes! 

They learn to sew, knit, and crochet. (The sewing machines are hand cranked, not electric.) This way they can make clothing for their families. They can knit baby layettes and sew things to sell to help support their families. The school is in the village, but the sewing machines are in a building nearly 8 miles away and can't be moved because the road is so bad it would tear up the machines. On sewing days, the women walk to where the machines are. Once they graduate from the school, they are still allowed to use the machines on Fridays so they can continue improving their skills and helping their families. 

From start to finish, schooling lasts for three years! 

This program reaches women for Christ, but it also gives them increased dignity and self-esteem by teaching them new skills they can be proud of and use to support themselves. It completely changes their lives in many ways. It brings God's Word and influence into the homes. The men in the villages are asking for a school for men because now they want to learn to read and write and how to be spiritual leaders in their homes! When Jim Smith's father came to this country, it was still under Belgian rule. The Belgians were ravaging the women of this village and others in the area without any consequences. When the village chief tried to defend the women he was put into prison. The people were sacrificing their babies and practicing cannibalism to "the spirits" in a vain attempt to atone for their sins. Desperate men from the village walked over 70 miles to the village where Laban Smith was ministering. They had heard that he was teaching people about a God who can forgive sins without the sacrifice of children, and they begged him to come and tell their village about his God.  What a radical difference it has made!

 All too soon, it was time to leave. David Francis flew us home in the Caravan, "Mike Oscar." We stopped in Vanga on the way and picked up Dr. Friedhelm, a missionary who works in the Vanga hospital.  

MAF encourages us to visit the interior and calls these excursions "vision trips." Being at home nearly 24/7, or in the hangar all day every day with your nose in an airplane, we usually don't see or hear how God is using MAF to make a difference here in DRC. We don't know what life is like for those who live outside of the city if we've never been outside of the city ourselves. There are missionaries, hospitals, schools and mission stations that rely on MAF and could not continue to exist here without the airplanes.  Knowing that, and SEEING it are two entirely different things, I've learned. Trips like this help us keep or renew our vision and passion for God's work here. I hope my posts have shown you the beautiful people, the dedication of God's laborers, and the amazing things God has done/is doing here. More than that, I hope you have a vision and that God will enable you to passionately pursue it.

How to Exponentially Increase Your Husband's Stress

Photo source: Reusable Art

Some times when a person is under stress or having a hard time, blessing them is not the temptation that first presents itself.  We don't usually deal with our stress and problems by being all sweetness and warm fuzzies.  Often we drive people away.  But we married our men for better or for worse, and most days, my husband receives the "worse" and I receive the "better."  I know all sorts of things that definitely do not bless my husband (or anyone else) during  a stressful time.  I know, because I have at one time or another tried all of them in the 21 years we've been married.

How to Exponentially Increase Your Husband's Stress (subtitled: stuff I learned not to do after I had already done them):

1. Reacting instead of responding.
2. Assuming because he hasn't said anything more about it, that the problem has gone away.
3. Taking it personally when he is quieter than usual or when he says something he normally wouldn't.
4. Inviting people over to distract him from his troubles.  Never works.  Never.
5. Talking to him incessantly.  I don't know why, but they don't like this.
6. Trying to "one up" him - let him know how much longer my list of problems is than his.
7. Ask him when he's going to fix the car, the toilet, etc.
8. Tell him to just get over it or to stop making such a big deal out of it.
9. Committing him to more activities without asking him first.
10. Play the martyr.  Make a big production out of everything you do for him.

photo source: Reusable Art

I found an article called "10 Ways to Bless Your Husband When He Is Having a Stressful Week."  The big difference between the list that Sandra Peoples has written and my list is that her list revolves around the other person, not around self.  I like this little article because it is practical and do-able.  I don't have to read his mind or do acupuncture or learn to play golf.  Just look for real things I can do that give him one less thing to think about here, one less thing to do there, a few more minutes of rest in between, and a little less chaos.

So, if you are interested, check out 10 Ways to Bless Your Husband When He Is Having a Stressful Week.  Then just in case she's having a stressful week, leave her an encouraging comment.  I'd love to hear your ideas too!